Saturday, February 21, 2015

Vampires: Things to consider...

There is a huge fascination with supernatural dead people in the last few years. We can all relate to the Twilight saga where vampires were shown as romantic beings...

Assuming that they would be real in our universe, I am still confused about the fact that girls are so attracted to them. Of course, this happened with the Twilight saga and has nothing in common with previous incarnations of vampires we've seen.

There are some things to consider with vampires, even if they are romantic, cute and shine in the sun:

  • A vampire is dead, thus cold to the touch
  • It only gets out at night, meaning that no family picnic, no holidays at the beach, no fun at the pool...
  • Some girls are complaining about their boyfriend asking for sex... Imagine if their boyfriend would have to fight the urge to kill for blood
  • A french kiss can be dangerous with those fangs
  • Your house would always be in the dark... Depressing...
  • Always the same meal: blood! No fancy dinner, no eggs and bacon, no fruits and veggies...
  • They must have a really bad breath at the end of the day, drinking all that blood
  • No selfies to put on the web as camera cannot see them
  • "Sorry honey, I was drunk" while looking at the dead body in your basement...
  • Cuddling would always be dangerous. You never know...
  • "When I was young..." would always refer to something that happened before your grandpa was born.

    The list can go on and on. Living with a vampire must be really boring and disgusting.


    Worst would be a vampire smoking weed... Can you imagine them with munchies? I wouldn't want to be around...

    Anyway, glad they do not exist...

    Patrick Balleux